Snow & Scarves

The snow continues to fall in North Lincolnshire. And the council still haven't sent out any gritters or snow ploughs, instead leaving everyone to fend for themselves. Cheers, guys.
Still, it's funny how quickly you adapt to change. Every morning starts the same way: crawl unwillingly out of bed. Pile on clothes until you resemble the Michelin Man. Dig path from door to car. Dig path from car to road. Worry as Mikeyfox drives to work*, and dig a path for the cats to poop in the garden. Check the drains & pipes haven't frozen up & brush snow off the polytunnel. Then tramp back indoors & consume as much coffee & porridge until something resembling humanity is restored.
Still, snow is being admired, rolled around in & shovelled out of the way in equal measures.

So my last post was a bit of a vague non-pattern, and the next one will be a not-hard-but-not-easy crochet pattern, so I'll give you a break with something that's really easy to make - so easy that the most novicey of novices can knock up in no time - and looks much harder to make than it actually is. Woohoo!

At the risk of sounding like a shill, I'm basically raving about Katia, a Spanish yarn company that set itself up around 50 years ago with the aim of freshening up the wool industry, mainly by coming up with fun, funky & fashionable wools & yarns. The highlight of their Autumn/Winter range has been the glorious trinity of Ondas, Triana & Rizos - 3 novelty yarns that are actually lengths of netting or webbing (you knit into one edge of the netting, rather than with the whole strip, which is what gives you the big ruffly effect) rather than traditional yarn - that come in a range of colours, single toned or variegated, and knit up into lovely, frilly, ruffly, waterfall - style scarves (and really, they're just designed for making scarves).

My current favourite is the Ondas yarn (though Triana is a close second). It takes a little getting used to, as you have to stretch out the netting before you start to knit. But the results are lovely.
Oh, and this is the kicker - you don't have to know how to cast on to use them. How crazy is that?!
So whats the downside? Well, they're not cheap. a ball of Ondas (which will make one scarf) will cost around £6, Triana around £7 & Rizos around £8 (depending on where you shop)

Your local knitting shop should have them in stock if you fancy giving it a whirl. Or you can order online from various places (I will, however, take this opportunity to plug my local woolshop Tricot in Scunthorpe, lovely people full of helpful advice who'll bend over backwards to feed your knitty addiction) & they're also cropping up on eBay.

And no, I'm not getting paid for this!

Almost completed scarf. Eee!

Okay, enough getting giddy over wool. Hope you're all keeping warm & well where you are!

*15 miles away on ungritted country roads. While his co-workers who live less than 3 miles from the brewery stay home because its 'too snowy'.

Don't Shoot The Messenger (Bag)

North Lincolnshire is currently buried underneath snow. It's the lovely, light, fluffy kind of snow that doesn't form snowballs, much to the distress of MikeyFox & the relief of yours truly.

I'm not letting myself worry about the cost of heating up the Shack In The (Frozen) Marshlands, or whether or not I'll get to Sheffield to restock the shop I supply (after spending the last two days making up all the stock), frozen water pipes or digging out the car every morning. I am, instead, wrapping myself up warm & burrowing my way through the drifts and walking through the fields every day & enjoying the rare pleasures of snow. The great expanse of white that was a field of rapeseed, that makes little white sparkles dance in front of my eyes if I stare too long. The tree-lined path to the church dusted with snow, prettier than any Christmas card. The snow-topped cottages of the village looking like icing topped gingerbread houses. The Cavalo Nero in the garden, the deepest green you could imagine against the crisp whiteness. Little pleasures that make it worth getting up in the morning.

Okay, enough reverie, I promised knitting patterns!
Last year I was all about bags. All sizes, all shapes. But my favourite was the messenger bag. I loved the simplicity of it, the way it knitted up quickly in a few days & it's a really good way of showing off whatever fancy or unusual textured wool you have, or any new stitches you've become partial to.
Alas, this isn't really a pattern, more of a guideline that you can adapt to your needs.

Your average bag will need about 3 balls of yarn. If you're making a little purse-style bag, you should be able to get away with one or two balls. The basic process is to knit a long strip of - um - knittery, and fold it like an envelope. Your one strip will become the front, bottom, back & flap of the bag. Then to knit a thin strip of - uh - knittery which will become the handle and sides of the bag, which you stitch in place at the end.

Your first step is to figure out what size you want your bag to be. Do you want it to be a laptop bag? Something to carry folders in? Or the mountain of detritus that seems to build up around you wherever you go. Or a little bag for the essentials.
Next, choose your yarn. It's worth adding here that the thicker the yarn, the quicker it knits up. Stuff suitable for 8mm or 10mm needles will take no time at all to make. Variegated yarn can bring out really nice random patterns in the finished bag, and textured yarn will give an interesting finish.
Knit yourself a little tension square. Yes, it's not nearly as fun as actually making something, but if you want to make something a certain length, you'll need it to figure out how many stitches you need to cast on.
Okay, so now you have the arcane wisdom necessary (or have just cast on until it feels like enough), get knitting. You can use any stitch you like, rib, stockinette, garter, moss, whatever takes your fancy. I'd stick to garter stitch if you're using a fancy, fluffy or bobbly wool.
Knit until it's 3 times the intended size (height, I mean) of your bag (so, if you want a bag that's 25cm/10" tall, you'd knit it 75cm/30" long). This isn't set in stone, though. If you want a short flap, reduce the length accordingly.
Next, you'll need to knit your strap. This can be as thick or as thin as you like. You can make it really skinny or really thick. Or somewhere in the middle. As for how long it is, well how long do you want it? Once you know the answer to that question (if it's a shoulder bag, use a tape measure to see how long you need it to be. Don't forget to include the extra you need to make the side panels of the bag). Remember that knitting stretches, so err on the side of caution.

Once you've knitted your strap, you need to sew it in place. Place the knitting wrong side up on a flat surface & lay one end of your strap alongside the edge that you're about to sew. Make sure you're measured up right & stitch away. Sewing onto the strap will turn your big lump of knittery into a 3 dimensional bag shape. Woo! Position the other end of the strap on the other side (making sure it's not twisted) and repeat the process. Turn inside out (well, it's actually rightside round now!) and huzzah! You have a bag!

The bag on the left is Wendy Origin yarn in the less-appealing-than-it-actually-looks colour petroleum knitted with 5mm needles. The bag on the right is Wendy Viva yarn in Delph with 10mm needles.

Of course, if that sounds a bit too complicated, you can sew up the edges of the bag without these side panels, and knit up a strap to attach for a flatter bag.

Next pattern will be an actual patterny-pattern. promise!

How To Knit A Long Distance Hug...

... Or a shawl, as it's otherwise known.

My friend Cynthia has been having a rough 2009. Ordinarily, that would mean getting on a bus with the biggest chocolate cake Sheffield has to offer and Being There. Unfortunately she lives a bajillion miles away (which wouldn't stop me, being an I-would-walk-500-miles kind of girl*), and there's the small matter of the Atlantic too. So since I can't get to her to give her hugs & chocolate cake she needs, I needed to make something to do the job for me. After a brief dalliance with the idea of a crocheted 10ft tall Golem (with Emet embroidered in shiny silver thread on its forehead), which was abandoned** in favour of making a shawl.

Shawls are an excellent hug substitute, quick to knit or crochet and can be as complicated or as simple as you like. This is my first shawl, so went for the simplest pattern imaginable, a basic triangular shaped shawl. So what you need to do is go out and find yourself some nice wool. And I mean the fluffiest, cuddliest, snuggliest yarn out there. You can go for something pretty and delicate, something big & chunky, wispy mohair knitted on oversized needles to make something lacy-ish, eyelash yarn to make something big & fuzzy, like if a cavegirl went to a '60's disco. I used Wilkinsons Soft'n'Fluffy fancy yarn in purple, which is more exciting than it sounds, see!

This shawl took 6 50g balls of yarn, though you could use a couple more, or one or two less, depending on how big a shawl you're after. I wanted a BIG shawl
So now you have your yarn, you'll need the appropriate sized needles. Most balls of yarn will tell you the recommended needle size (I used a pair of 8mm needles). Also, you don't need to knit a gauge for this. Yay.
Cast on 3 stitches. When you start the next row, increase 1 stitch. There are lots of different ways to increase stitches, use whatever you're most comfortable with (there's some clear diagrams & information on increases and lots of other knitting info here).
And that's pretty much it! Just knit to the end of the row, turn & increase the first stitch, and knit to the end of the row. So your first knitted row will have 4 stitches, the next will have 5, the next 6 & so on. Just knit & knit & knit until you think it's big enough. Then cast off, weave in the loose threads, stick in an envelope with some chocolate & put in the mail to anyone you love who is is far away but in need of a hug!


*Damn. Now that song is never getting out of my head.

Ba-da-la-da

**Partly because, even if I used fluffy purple wool, a gigantic formerly-fluffy-but-soggy-from-the-swim HugMonster may not be all that comforting. More terrifying really. Also, I'm really slow at crochet.

Hobo Stylin'

Since MikeyFox was in danger of freezing his paws off every morning going to work, I rashly promised to make him some fingerless gloves. A half hour of scouring Knitting Pattern Central (an online directory with links to free knitting patterns for anything from skirts to companion cubes*) made me think that maybe I've bitten off more than I can chew. Mostly because all the patterns out there seem to be for teeeny lady hands, not the shovel-like mitts of a brewer.
But after a few false starts, a considerable amount of cussing & generally resenting all forms of abbreviation (how hard is it to write 'Purl 1, increase 1 in the next stitch'? Why does it have to be 'P1 inc. in next st', it's hard enough creating a thumb gusset** without having to constantly translate the instructions?), gloves were made.


Tadaa!
If you fancy making your own bit of Hobo chic, and you have huge hands (these fits hands that are 4 1/2" - 5" wide, excluding thumb) you'll need;
4 (or 5) 4mm DPNS (yes, we'll be dancing with the DPNS in the pale moonlight)
1 ball of yarn (this pattern uses all of 1 ball, so if you're worried about running out of wool before you've finished the thumb, get another ball, it can always be used on something else), anything suitable for 4mm (or slightly larger) needles will do. I used Rowans Classic Yarns (RYC) Wool Tweed (Shetland), which I got in the January sale at John Lewis. Woo!
A stitch holder, or length of different coloured yarn.
Some stitch markers (I just used brightly coloured yarn to make my stitch markers)
A cup of tea
Okay, let's start with the right glove then!

Cast on 52 stitches onto your DPNS (I used 4 of them, having my stitches on 3 and working with the 4th, but if you're more comfortable using 5, do that instead). If you know the casting-on-with-thumb method, use that. If not, then cast on any way you can. Place a marker if you like, so you know when one row ends and another begins. Work in Knit 2 Purl 2 ribbing to make the cuff (so it's nice & stretchy and will go over your hand, but still fit snugly on the wrist) for a couple of inches (whatever is comfortable for you). I did 2" of ribbing.

Now change to Garter stitch (the one that's just knit every row, for by the magic of circular knitting, it will become inside out Stockinette. When you're finished, just turn the glove inside out & you'll have a Stockinette stitch) and when you knit this round, you'll need to increase 4 stitches evenly, giving you a total of 56 stitches (just increase 1 stitch every 13 stitches, that's nice & even). Knit 3 more rounds.

Okay, now on the next row we're doing a thumb gusset** (I know it's puerile, I just can't help it. It's a funny word). Place a stitch marker (unless you already have an end of row marker in place). Okay, you ready? Purl 1, increase in the next stitch, Knit 2 stitches, increase in the next stitch and Purl 1. Place a marker. Phew! That wasn't too bad now, was it? Now knit the rest of the row, and feel pleased with yourself! Knit 2 more rows, making sure that you Purl those two stitches on the thumb gusset**.

Next round, Purl 1, increase in the next stitch, Knit 4 stitches, increase in the next stitch and Purl 1 (see how you're starting to make a thumb. Pretty cool, eh?). Knit the rest of the row, and knit the next 2 rows, making sure that you purl those two stitches as you go.

So, you might be noticing a pattern here, yeah? With increases every 3rd row, right? Keep repeating this process (increasing inside the Purl stitches every 3rd row) until you have 18 stitches Between the 2 Purl stitches. Congratulations, you have a thumb gusset!**

Now things are going to get a bit fiddly, but then it'll be nice & easy for a while. then hard again.

Next round, Knit 1 stitch, then slip the next 18 stitches onto a stitch holder or length of string (I favour the length of string, it's much cheaper, and is also flexible). Cast on 4 Stitches (these will eventually become the rest of the thumb on your glove) and knit around, joining the cast on stitches to the main part of the glove (see how you've made a thumb hole now?). You should be back to 56 stitches on your DPNS now.

Here's a quick tip. If, like me, you're rubbish at picking up stitches, this is a little trick to help you out. Take a couple of inches brightly coloured yarn, something that's a contrasting colour to the yarn you're working with, and thread it onto a blunt ended needle. Pass that needle through those 4 cast on stitches you've just done, and leave the yarn threaded through those stitches. That yarn will sit there patiently until you come back to knit up the thumb, and when you need to pick up those stitches, all you have to do is run your needle through where the yarn is. Huzzah! No hassle stitch-picking-up!

Okay, now all that difficult stuff is done, you can take it easy. All you have to do is Knit rows until you've reached the required length of glove (depending on the length of your hand) before beginning the fingers. If you're not sure, try your glove on & see if it fits!

One things that will make life simple (but you don't have to do it if you don't want to) is place a marker between the 2nd & 3rd stitch of those 4 stitches you cast on (the ones that will make up the rest of the glove). That will come in handy soon.
Okay, next we have another difficult bit, so make a cup of tea (or pour a glass of wine). it's fiddly, but not hard, and pretty soon you'll have a glove. woo!

Remember that marker between the 2nd & 3rd stitch you cast on? Knit until you reach it. You'll be moving some stitches around it. You need the 8 stitches before & the 8 stitches after that marker on your needle. that's 16 stitches. Slip all the other stitches onto a length of string or a stitch holder, and arrange your 16 stitches on 3 (or 4) DPNS. You're about to make the first finger.

Knit all 8 stitches after the marker & cast on 3 stitches (this will be another gusset** and will be joined to the 2nd finger, so I recommend threading some yarn through these 3 stitches, to help with picking them up later), join these up with the other 8 stitches and knit until the finger is the length you require. This is a fiddly process, but won't take you long to get the inch or two of knit that you need. Cast off. Well done, you have a finger!

So now it's time to make the 2nd finger.
Take a DPNS & pick up those 3 cast on stitches from the 1st finger gusset**. Next pick up 7 stitches from one end of the length of string/stitch holder and slip those on after the cast on stitches. Next, slip 8 stitches from the other end of the string/stitch holder and slip those onto the needle before the 3 cast on stitches. Arrange these 18 stitches evenly over 3 (or 4) DPNS and cast on 3 more stitches (again using that bit of yarn to help pick up the stitches later) for the 2nd/3rd finger gusset** to create another fingerhole and knit until you have the finger length you require. cast off, and prepare yourself for the 3rd finger.

Take a DPNS & pick up those 3 cast on stitches from the 2nd finger gusset**. Next pick up 6 stitches from one end of the length of string/stitch holder and slip those on after the cast on stitches. Then slip 7 stitches from the other end of the string/stitch holder and slip those onto the needle before the 3 cast on stitches. Arrange these 18 stitches evenly over 3 (or 4) DPNS and cast on 3 more stitches (again using that bit of yarn to help pick up the stitches later) for the 3rd/4th finger gusset**. You should have another fingerhole. yay! So knit until you have the finger length required, cast off, and rejoice! For it is the final finger!

Pick up the 3 stitches from 3rd finger gusset** & knit 2 together. it doesn't matter which 2. Slip the remaining stitches from the length of string/stitch holder onto a needle & arrange evenly over 3 (or 4) DPNS to make a fingerhole. Knit until you have the fingerlength you want, and cast off. easy!

Now the thumb. Yes, the thumb. It seems so long ago since we were last together, so much time has passed! After all the business with the fingers, the thumb is a doddle. Pick up the 4 cast on stitches (with the help of that strand of yarn) & the 18 stitches from the length of string/stitch holder, arrange on 3 (or 4) DPNS & knit until you have the thumblength you want, then cast off.

Cry huzzah! For you have a glove. Use your blunt ended needle to work in all the loose threads, turn inside out (or rather the right way around), make sure you've removed your brightly coloured threads & wear with pride!

Then realise that there is still another glove to make.

But that's okay, for you are a glove knitting master, and the pattern for the left hand is, let's be honest, is identical to the right hand.

*Knitted Companion Cubes! Eeeeeeeeeeee!
**Snerk. Gusset!

A Hat So Easy It Should Be Called Your Momma

Every year I say to myself 'This is the year I will make gifts for people, for handmade gifts are the bestest'. Unfortunately I say this every year around mid-December, when I have neither time nor money to spend on such endeavour, and anyway entering any retail outlet in December involves donning thick armor plating, a crash helmet & kneepads (what? You seriously think you can walk to the cashiers? Crawling on your hands & knees, clutching your purchases to your chest & praying to Cthulhu is the only way you're getting out of there*).

Well, for some reason (the planets were in alignment? A white buffalo was born? Pushing Daisies. Oh, yeah. That was it), this year the thought occurred a month earlier.

Huzzah. Thank you, Emerson Cod.

So this Christmas, every one's getting a scarf. Or a hat. Or fingerless gloves if I can fathom how to do them (don't hold your breath, Mike!)

Here's how to make a really easy roll-brim hat. Not only is it easy, it's also fast (insert appropriate 'Your Momma' joke here), and only takes an evening to make (this particular hat took me a Sunday double bill of Columbo). It also has the magic power of fitting comfortably on different sized heads, from my own 21" scalp to Mikeyfox's Mekonesque 24" cranium. Fancy that.

You will be needing a 41cm/16" 8mm circular needle (the 8mm is the needle thickness, the 41cm/16" is the length of the circular needle). Don't be afraid of the circular needle, it's more scared of you than you are of it.

You'll also need 4 dpns (double pointed needles). Yes, they are scary looking, and if you don't keep an eye on them they'll slip down the back of the sofa & perform acupuncture on you when you're watching Gilmore Girls.

You'll need a ball of wool too, the chunkier the better. A single 100g ball should do the job (though you won't have anything left over. If you're worried, get more, it'll get used for something eventually). I used King Cole Homespun super chunky yarn in green, which is a nice thick wool/acrylic mix. You could use any chunky wool suitable for an 8mm needle, Sirdar Super Nova Tweed wool works really well too. (If you're really worried about the finished hat size, then knit yourself a gauge & work out the stitches per inch)

Cast 60 stitches onto your circular needles. Yes, it looks far too small right now, but have I ever steered you wrong before? Now comes the fun part, 'knitting in the round'. Yup, you're going to be going around in circles. Before that, straighten out all your stitches & make sure that they are all pointing inwards (or down, if that's your thing). You don't want to get your stitches twisted up, or you'll end up knitting a Mobius strip. A surface with only one side it may be, a hat it isn't. You'll need a stitch marker (you can buy stitch markers, and they come in different colours & styles. For this I'm using an Ankh ring sent to me by the lovely Cynthia as my stitch marker. Just slip it onto the needle next to the last cast on stitch. The stitch marker is just there to show you where the end of the row is. When you knit your row & get to it, you just slip it from one needle to the other & carry on knitting. It doesn't get knitted into the hat, just goes round & round the needles.

Hold the needle with the last cast on stitch in your right hand & the needle with the first cast on stitch in your left hand and knit into that first cast on stitch, pulling the yarn firmly to prevent getting a gap in the join between the two stitches (though this being a roll brim hat, no one will actually notice if the joint is a bit shoddy).

Sensible folk will recommend that you knit with the needles facing towards you, rather than away from you (like in regular knitting). I can't wrap my head around such things, so knit with needles towards me, which has the bizarre effect of turning the hat inside out. But that's fine, just turn it right way round when you're finished. Work whatever method suits you best.

Another magic power of the circular needle is it turns a Garter stitch into a Stockinette. Yes, hot snow falls upwards. Why does it do this? Because you're knitting in a spiral, rather than the back & forth of regular needles. So if you want to make a garter stitch hat, you'll need to knit 1 round, purl 1 round & keep repeating. Or you can knit an inside-out, garter-that-becomes-stockinette magic-hat instead.
Keep knitting until you have 6" or 7" or so of knitting (a little less if you're making a Beanie style hat, a little more if you want a big chunky brim). Now comes the decreasing. Just relax. get yourself a cup of tea. Or a glass of wine. Some Malbec would go down well. Knit 8 stitches, then knit 2 stitches together. Repeat until the end of the row. Now knit 7 stitches, and knit 2 together, and repeat until the end of the row. Now knit 7 stitches, and knit 2 together, repeat to the end of the row. At this point you & the circular needles will have to part ways. yes, it's been a whirlwind romance, but you'll meet again soon. Time to meet the dpns, the double pointed needles -discovered by a the Mad Arab Abdul Alhazred in the ruins of Babylon & used to knit a cabled tote bag for his early draft of the Necronomicon. Wield them and despair!

Okay, so they're not that bad. But look, they make an Anarchy symbol when used to knit a hat. Coincidence? Probably, yeah.

Moving on...
You can just slip your stitches onto 3 of the dpns, spread them out equally & continue knitting the rounds of decreases. Or you can knit straight onto them, whatever works best for you. With the 4th needle knit off the dpns (it sounds complicated, but it isn't. Just take your empty needle in your right hand & the dpn with the stitches you need to decrease next in your left. Knit & decrease from left to right, and use the now empty left hand dpn to do the same again to the next one). Knit & decrease for as long as you can stand to (I keep going until I have 3 or 4 stitches, but I'm Peculiar), cut your yarn, leaving a tail of several inches, and thread through the remaining stitches. Tie off & weave in any loose yarn left (don't forget the bit at the brim where you cast on). Turn it right way around (if you've been knitting it inside out)


There you have it. A very fine hat.

*Oh, mighty cephalopod, get your lazy arse out of bed and smite mine enemies with your flailing tentacles, so that your humble servant may purchase gaudy, overpriced tat...