Beetballs

It has been a bit of a trying week here at the Shack in the Marshlands. But instead of complaining about mad old misogynists, incendiary* brewery equipment or finances, I shall rejoice in two of my favourite things - bad puns & beetroot - which means Beetballs!

I've been messing around with Beetroot & fake meat puns for a while (Beetburgers, Beetloaf ect) but am pretty chuffed with how these came out. They are made with wheat gluten, which I've blogged about before, and is one of my store cupboard staples, as well as being good fun to mess about with.
I've been trying to come up with a good fake meatball recipe for a while. Most recipes out there seem to involved grinding stuff up, then trying desperately to make it all stick back together again.
I'm really pleased with how these came out. The texture is light & moist inside with a firm crust. I can't say whether or not they're a good substitute, as meatballs are something I've never eaten!

This recipe makes about 20-25 beetballs (or less or more, depending on how small or large your balls are. Oh. That just sounds filthy, doesn't it? Ah well). You can stick what you don't use in the freezer (or use what's left as sandwich fillings or tortilla wraps. Sounds weird, but it's actually really nice!). You can use pre-packaged cooked beetroot, or leftover roasted ones (that works really well) or grated raw beets. The tofu is optional, but I really recommend it, it gives them a really nice texture & keeps everything from getting too dense & chewy.

Beetballs
2 beetroots (or one really large one. Or three small ones. You get the idea)
1 red onion
2 cloves garlic
1 cup wheat gluten
1 cup silken tofu
1 tsp dill
1 tsp parsley
salt & pepper

Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/G4. Throw the red onion, garlic & beetroot into a food processor & blitz, adding a little water until you have a thick puree (or you can finely chop the onion & garlic & fry in a little oil until softened & golden, and mash the beetroot is cooked, or grate if raw, and stir together). Scrape into a large bowl & add salt, pepper & herbs. Add the silken tofu & mix well. Add the wheat gluten & mix together by hand. Get your fingers in there & really mush it all up. It will look like a goth birthday cake disaster, and feel like an alien autopsy, but trust me, it'll be worth it.

If it feels too wet, you can add some breadcrumbs to the mixture, but if you can get it into a roughly round shape, it should be fine.
Shape the purple goop into walnut sized balls (oh dear) & arrange on a greased baking tray. Bake for about 25-30 minutes, turning them over halfway through the cooking time. They should puff up a bit (though when they go cold they will deflate a little), and of course you should try one or two hot out of the oven. Just to, y'know, make sure they're okay.

Plays well with tomato sauce, over pasta, rice or any grain you fancy. Or just dipped in ketchup.
Nom nom nom!

*In both senses of the word

District (f)10

Rejoice, rejoice, for we have an allotment!

Hello, plot f10, you desolate wasteland, you.

MikeyFox & myself took a break from Crazy Scheme #87* to go have a look at the allotment.
'Desolate' is a good word to describe the location. 'Windswept' is another good one. 'Soil like concrete' is not a word, but certainly gets the point across.
So, weather permitting, we'll be heading out there after work today to plant some Jerusalem Artichokes (and see just how effective a windbreak they can be), figure out where all the fruit bushes rescued from the pound shops** will go, and start the long, long, long task of digging over & incorporating hops into the soil.

*Making your own marmite. No. Don't ask. Please.

**With numerous Schindler-esque moments as I rummage through my pockets for enough change to save just one more redcurrant bush.

Sowing The Seeds of Destruction (and radishes)

It's March (only just), so there's still time for the annual roundup of Seed Suppliers. Woo!

I've always been something of a compulsive seed-purchaser, and moving out to the arse end of nowhere & getting a bigger garden (not to mention the impending allotmentiness) seems to have brought out the worst in me (there's even enough room for -gasp- flowers! Ones that you don't eat, just look at cause they're pretty!). Mikeyfox managed to hold me to one agreement, no greenhouse plants (lacking a greenhouse as we are, and not living in the middle of a city & having that few degrees warmer thing that meant you could get away with growing some greenhouse stuff outdoors. You can get away with that in Sheffield, but not so much in North Lincolnshire).
Still, I have funky tubers (Oca, Yakon, Crosne & potatoes in various colours), legumes, radishes & other root veg of every shape & colour, more squash than is really wise (and most looking like the more outlandish spacecraft designs from Star Trek). Generally speaking, if you can't buy it in a shop, or have never eaten it (possibly never heard of it, unless you read a lot of Mexican cookbooks*), I'll probably have a pack of seeds for it here...

So this years favourite seed suppliers are;

The Real Seed Catalogue yes, I've mentioned them before, but I loves them. They have excellent advice on seed saving & storing, and the seeds have the best germination rate & are all excellent quality.

Plants of Distinction An excellent range of weird & wonderful veggies. I love their colourful collection packs too (if, like me, you're mildly obsessed with growing familiar things in strange colours, the packs of beetroot, radishes & caulis in all the colours of the rainbow are a great find). The seeds have a good germination rate too, and I'm practically giddy over their Czech tomato seeds!

Johnsons Mostly here because of their Welcome to Eastern Europe & World Kitchen ranges. Good quality seed, really interesting varieties (if you can actually say them. Starozagorski kamus, Hilds roter neckarruhm, Czerwony & krem...).

Victoriana Nursery A family run nursery who grow most of what they sell, and have a good range of older, non-hybridised seeds. They use compostable materials in their packaging too. I know it's probably an odd thing to pick up, but getting plastic & polystyrene packaging from seed suppliers really bugs me. Shredded paper can go straight onto the compost heap (or paper block maker). What do you do with a box full of polystyrene?

Nicky's Nursery I've been using Nicky's for ages, and can't rate them highly enough. A cracking range of all manner of seeds, from uncommon wildflowers to swedes. And yes, they have Jicama. You will be mine, Jicama. You will be mine.

Lidl A friend of mine got me onto Lidl's seed ranges a few years back. I was initially unconvinced, but it's 28p-47p for a packet of seeds, so what's the worst that can happen? The seeds are actually pretty good, and there's some good salads & root veg.

The sun's come out, so I'm off to sow some yellow cylindrical beetroot!

*Yes, I'm looking at you, Jicama

Garden

Hello Blog.
Yes, I know, I have been a poor and inconstant blogger. The shame. Turns out that running a brewery, lurching towards self-sufficiency & fixing up the Shack in the Marshes* takes up a lot the day.
Still, the damp course & guttering are all done, leaving only the mortal horror that is THE DRAINS. That will be fun.

And since I was in danger of having some free time (and finally breaking the cellophane on Bioshock 2), we now have an allotment. Woo! More on that another time.

Fortunately my glamorous assistant has been most helpful with the garden.

See that green stuff? That's garlic. Lots of garlic.

*Formerly known as project Shack in the Peaks. Not having a spare million pounds lying around meant lowering our sights a little. To about 4 meters above sea level...

February Already?

Augh, it's February. Cold, bitter, relentless february. The ground is still frozen, so no digging can be done (and I can't do any digging anyway, knackered up my knee). But there are seeds to gaze upon with longing, and seed potatoes to chit (there are arguments that chitting potatoes is a waste of time, but trays of Swift, Charlottes, Wilja & Yukon Gold remind me of Anthony Gormley's Field sculpture, which is good enough for me).
Due to having More Space, this years seed purchase has slid merrily into insanity; pulses for drying, South American tubers, wierd roots and prehistoric brassicas. At some point I'll list them.

Gah, February. Wish I was still in Prague.

Mexican Pumpkin Lentil & Peanut stew

The weather has taken a turn for the cold-and-wet, so today's recipe is for something thick, hearty & warming. Nothing beats the Dear-Gods-It's-Late-November-Already* blues than comforting stodge.

Pumpkin, Lentil & Peanut Stew
(Serves 4, or two greedy foxes, with some leftover for lunch with paprika potato wedges)

900g/2lb Squash (butternut, Pumpkin, whatever you still have around) peeled, deseeded & chopped into chunks
225g/8oz red lentils
225g/8oz tomatoes, peeled & chopped (or 1 can of chopped tomatoes)
1 ltr vegetable stock
2 heaped tbs peanut butter
1 red onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 red chilli, chopped
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp paprika

In a large pan, fry the onion in a little oil until it goes translucent (about 5 minutes), add the garlic & chilli & fry for another minute. Add the cumin & paprika, stir and add the tomatoes. Add the lentils and vegetable stock & bring to the boil. Cover (lest the lentil swamp coat your kitchen in tomato goo) and simmer for about 15 minutes. Check on it and give it the occasional stir, even though it will spit at you. Add the chopped squash & season with salt & pepper. Cover and simmer for 10 more minutes. Stir in the peanut putter & simmer for another 5 minutes. You may need to add a little more stock if the mixture is too thick for your liking (Me, I love them thick. If you need to chisel it out in chunks, it's perfect). Serve with toasted peanuts, or a dollop of sour cream, or some chopped avocado & lime juice, or anything else that takes your fancy.
This one is served with slices of Pumpkin Chilli Cornbread.

Om nom nom!

*But that means it's almost December, it's almost - gasp - Christmas!

Pumpkin Gnocchi

I've done a recipe for gnocchi, the delicious little potato dumplings, before, but this one is a bit different, and uses - yup - pumpkin instead of potato. My previous attempts at making Pumpkin gnocchi have always been a bit disappointing, coming out heavy & doughy, when gnocchi should be light & tender. This would be due to the rather watery nature of pumpkin, which would have me throwing in so much extra flour to the sticky mixture that I basically ended up with an unleavened bread mixture.

So the answer - drop gnocchi! Not 'proper' gnocchi, but teaspoons of gnocchi mixture dropped into boiling water. The results are a bit Cthulhu-ish, but delicious.

Pumpkin Gnocchi

500g Pumpkin, cooked & well mashed
1 egg, beaten
2 heaped tbsp plain flour
25g grated cheese (optional, it can be hard cheese, soft cheese, goats cheese, anything you've got lying around)

Ina bowl, mix together the pumpkin & egg. If you're adding cheese, nows the time to do it. Add salt & pepper (about a tsp of each, more or less if you prefer. You can add herbs too if you like, parsley or basil go well with pumpkin, or chilli flakes). Stir in the flour. You may need a bit extra, you're after a sort of stiff cake batter consistency, sticky, but fairly firm.
Bring a large pan of water to the boil, and drop the batter, one teaspoon at a time, into the water (I like to scoop up a spoonful of batter in one teaspoon, then use a second teaspoon to scrape the batter off into the boiling water so it forms a mostly-roundish shape, and less Lovecraftian Horrors*). Don't overcrowd the pan, and scoop out with a slotted spoon when they rise to the surface & waggle their extremities at you.
Serve warm with some kind of sauce, cheese, lemon or chilli works well.
I baked them with courgettes, mushrooms, onion & chilli. And lots of cheese.


Om nom nom!

*Though what better Halloween recipe than 'Zhar & Lloigor in tomato sauce... I mean, the blood of the nameless. And cheese.'